Considering my long distance relationship led to being attached at the hip to the love of my life, I’d argue that long distance relationships are worth it! You asking the question of whether or not long distance relationships are worth it, is a valid concern though. A relationship that exists over a large gap in space-time may seem like a crazy and tough thing to some people. Committing to a relationship where you can’t touch the other person, or even speak to them in person is hard pill to swallow. You might wonder if you can even call that a relationship; but a long distance relationship is a relationship in the end, I mean, the word is in the name.
There are many challenges that come with being in a long distance relationship; but on the bright side, there are just as many positives aspects to make up for that. And there are different ways of communicating with your partner to make things much easier. We used to talk to each other constantly throughout our LDR in the past, be it texting while on break, video calling after work, or gaming together, talking to your partner is important. Arguments and meltdowns can and will happen throughout a long distance relationship due to poor communication. It’s on both of you to keep a cool and calm head in most situations, but sometimes it’s very difficult not to get anxious when there’s a lack of information.
Even though you may live very far away from your partner, you can still spend time with them! Just because you aren’t in the same room, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t always be communicating and strengthening your bond in the only ways available to us over long distance. Yeah, it’s a hell of a lot more amazing to be there in person where you can sniff your partner, but it doesn’t mean that long distance relationships aren’t worth it.
Remember, you only have to make this crap work temporarily, that’s the shining beacon of hope which allows a long distance relationship to function, having that knowledge that you two will meet in-person one day. Long distance relationships can also benefit by having this hope, and having great plans and expectations for a future with the two of you. By knowing one day you will be in each other’s arms, you get strength to deal and cope with all of the challenges that a long distance relationship brings.
Long distance relationships aren’t for the faint of heart, you have to be a certain type of person to make stick through it. If physical touch is super important for you as person, then a long distance relationship might not work for you. If you’re an insecure person who always must know your partner’s location and/or what they’re doing, then a long distance relationship isn’t for you. You have to be able to put aside certain insecurities and simply trust your partner. This is more difficult to achieve in a long distance relationship, especially if you’re someone who agonizes about these sorts of things; such as who your partner hangs out with, what she wears, where she goes etc.
If you’re unable to simply trust your partner and act like a sane person who can handle a relationship, then a long distance relationship, or any relationship for that matter, is not something that current you should get into. If it’s in your interests for both of you to consensually have an app that shows your current location then I recommend Life360. It’s nice to have for those situations where you’re not sure if something’s wrong and you need to check where your partner is.
Anyway, there are those people who can manage to pull off being in a long distance relationship just fine. It might sound like I’ve been talking like a long distance relationship is a constant hell but that doesn’t have to be the case, an LDR can be very fulfilling, fun, and romantic. The long distance portion of my relationship was a fun time overall and wasn’t a negative experience. Next, I’d love to dive more into what type of person is best suited to make a long distance relationship work.
The Kind of Person Who Can Handle a Long Distance Relationship
On the topic of whether or not a long distance relationship is worth it, I think that it’s important to be aware of a type of person who can make it work. Because you’re maybe wondering if it’s going to work out for you, or if you should even jump into an LDR in the first place. As I mentioned previously in the introduction, long distance relationships are not for everyone.
I’ll say it right here, and that is for this to work, you’re going to have to be the kind of person that can make a long distance relationship work, BOOM. Well, no duh, Sherlock? I mean that you’ll have to have to make sacrifices, you’ll have to adapt, and you’ll have to be strong, some of the things that other people don’t have, or don’t have the patience for. Speaking of patience, that’s one of the first qualities you’ll need to make this work, and arguably the most important quality needed for a long distance relationship.
There are going to be many times when you want nothing more than to be in the arms of your person in that moment, buuuuuut you can’t. Something terrible might happen in your life but your partner is still hundreds of miles away from you. Your dog might pass away, you were denied acceptance to your dream college, or something like that. There may even be days where you wonder if it’s really worth it to continue the whole long distance thing; and it’s really all up to you and how much you value your partner and your relationship.
Some Reasons That a Long Distance Relationship Can Fail
Long distance relationships can eventually set you up with your lifelong partner, soulmate, ride or die shawty, whatever you want to call it, and now things are like a love story from Twilight. That’s the ideal scenario, something that we would love to see come to fruition, and with a good amount of luck and some effort it can happen. Some people get lucky and even find ‘the one’ on their very first go at long distance relationships. Not all of us can be so lucky, sometimes your long distance relationship can and will fail for this reason or that, many times it’s a combination of multiple reasons at the same time.
A lack of intimacy is part of the nature of long distance relationships, both of you will come to feel this (or not feel anything lol) as the time goes on. You’ll crave to be snuggled up in your partner’s lap or to be able to hold them in your arms, and it’s hard knowing that you simply can’t at the moment and probably won’t be able to for a very long time. And yeah it sucks, but lots of people do it, and some hold out for many years, so why couldn’t you do it too?
There are ways to cope and handle the lack of intimacy in long distance relationships. It helps to set a date that the two of you will be with one another for good; having this day to look forward to, and just knowing that it exists is an immense help to your happiness in an LDR. If possible, having regular or semi-regular meetups can satisfy the intimacy desires for a temporary period. Personally, I’d rather the first meetup be the last meetup, as in, once we meetup it’s together for the long run. It’s very difficult to say goodbye and then go back to the long distance grind. You can always invest in a body pillow to hold you over in the mean time; sounds silly, but hey it’s not the worst thing to have.
If you have no plans in your long distance relationship to meetup, and then eventually live together, that is something which can cause a LDR to fail. If it’s a situation where one of you is adamantly expressing a desire to live together and the other person is hesitant, then you need to talk it out and figure out what’s going on up in their melon. Misaligned life goals can be a reason that an eventual living situation is impossible for you two, and that’s usually cause for breakup.
You can also video call and/or talk to your partner on the phone as much as possible because it’s the next best thing to actually being there with them. Calling can hold you over for a good while, but it really just depends on the person. Some people just need that intimacy much sooner and more often the others, and some of us can bear with it for longer. I can do long distance for my girl as long as need be as long as we get to be together in the end, I think that’s a mindset that can really make a long distance relationship work. Discord is probably the most common way to communicate online nowadays, it’s pretty good and I’d recommend using it for connecting with your LDR partner.
Trust and insecurity issues and other similar things like that become amplified by a few times when it comes to long distance relationships. You have to be able to fully trust your partner and not fall into the cycle of questioning everything and everyone. If you can’t do that right off the bat, then you’ll have to learn how to do it real fast or your relationship will either not last or it will become very toxic and that’s not very cool at all. If your partner is someone who would cheat on you, then it wouldn’t have worked out anyways, nor would you want to be with that person, which is one way to look at it.
Besides, there aren’t many things more off-putting than extreme insecurity when it comes to the relationship. Insecurity about your smelly toes or bushy nose hairs is perfectly fine and understandable, who doesn’t have some insecurities? But if you question every little thing your partner does because of your lack of emotional maturity and ability to handle a real relationship then it’s just not going to be a good time for either of you and the relationship will probably fail in the end. If you’re prone to this sort of behavior, I think that working on yourself before committing to a long distance relationship is the play.
Another reason I think that long distance relationships can fail is because of a lack of communication. You have to maintain an emotional connection with your partner and continuously share your feelings, and just talk about anything and everything. That doesn’t mean you have to be on a call with them 24/7, but a reasonable amount of time per day or multiple times per week would be great. If too much time elapses between spending time with your partner, or the frequency of your connections is too little, then the both of you can grow apart which can lead to one or both of you losing interest in the relationship. People can and do fall out of love all of the time, it’s a very scary thing to think about, but that’s why communication is key in long distance relationships.
In Conclusion, Are Long Distance Relationships Worth It?
This really comes down to a matter of personal opinion. In my opinion, yes, it’s very much worth it because a long distance relationship can lead you to meeting your forever person. Like I mentioned before, the long distance aspect of the relationship, as in, the part of the relationship that comes before closing the gap, doesn’t have to suck. Long distance relationships have a reputation for being constant hardship and struggle, but one just has to adjust their mindset and expectations properly. Try to go into it with the mindset of being totally content with just hearing your partner’s voice that day, knowing that even though you can’t be next to them now, but you will be one day.
When signing on the dotted line of the long distance relationship contract, dispel any delusional thoughts of intimacy sooner rather than later. Life happens, and we can’t always close the gap as soon as we’d like. Whether it is financial constraints, health reasons, work reasons, sickness in the family, something always gets in the way. During rough times like those, a physical connection with your partner makes a huge difference, but it’s not realistic in most long distance relationships. Stay strong out there y’all, I know how hard it can be, but if you can just keep getting through each day, the time will come. It will be all worth it, please don’t give up on something amazing. You should know if this person is worth waiting on or not.
Keep loving your partner and every day that you get to call them your boyfriend/girlfriend. Cherish those late-night phone calls and movie nights, they’ll be fond memories that you will look back upon later in life and smile at. Don’t treat the days during your long distance relationship as nuisances and something that must pass more quickly. Live your life at the same time, I don’t recommend the habit of time-wasting. Use your strong desire to be with your partner as fuel to make your long distance relationship work, it will be worth it in the end.
